When did I realize haters would good for me? It came way later in life, but as we have all heard before, the saying ‘late is better than never’, the same is true about haters…once you realize haters can be the fuel that drives you every day, you will begin to realize haters are actually good.
Who are your haters?
In order to find haters, and who they are, one needs to get some time away from them…time to sit back and reflect on what these haters were, and why they were hating…you need to take yourself out of the environment they roam and grow in…that world they find themselves in, day after day, after day.
For example: think of the last time you visited home during a holiday, or during a weekend you were seeing family. Did you go out? Did you see any of your old friends? What were they doing? Were they happy? Did they ask what you were doing? Did they ask a single question? Or were they immediately judging you?
High probability they never asked a single question…rather they assumed things. Every time I visit home, people I knew (who had me marked as one of them…one of the ‘he’ll never leave because he doesn’t know anything beyond this’ people) are doing…you guessed it…the same thing they were doing 5, 10, 15 years ago. Some still don’t own a car…some still don’t own a house…some don’t even rent apartments, and are still living at home with their parents…well into their 30’s. But they have the moral fortitude to hate on you, of course.
How wonderful does it feel knowing you will be at home on a Sunday wondering about what you can tackle during the week, while these same people will be wondering how badly hungover they are going to feel on Monday morning after going out on a Sunday…with all of the cool people who have the time to go out on Sunday…because their mind is obviously completely wide-open (Who are these people by the way? They must have the most amazing job on Earth…stay out until 5 am on a Monday morning because you’ll eventually get to work, or eventually find someone to pay for all of your stuff because you aren’t working…NO WAY).
These people are the haters: the people dedicated to going out every single night, hoping they will find that one person to take care of them for the rest of their life, allowing them to fully enjoy life without any responsibility. They are living off someone else’s dime, without lifting a finger, but they still have time to talk down to you. Well guess what: you need to take that and use it as your personal rocket fuel.
How do haters give me rocket fuel?
Why would you not take a negative and turn it into a positive? For years, I never looked at the positive side of things, only the negative, every single time, like a whiney baby still going to his mother for everything. ‘OMG, why is she not responding to me?’ ‘OMG, if I do whatever she wants, then maybe she’ll give me the time of day.’ ‘Oh I’m going out this weekend, just to throw money at her, impress her, impress her friends, impress all of the haters I see every day.’ Why give into that nonsense? The world we live in is filled with this utterly fake garbage: trying to impress people by sacrificing ourselves and our morals.
You have to be yourself, in order to gain the respect you deserve. Haters will always be around you, there is no way to get around it, but being yourself will make the haters hate you even more, in turn, supplying you with more rocket fuel. As you slowly see haters continually diminish into their own hole of despair and hate, you come out as a rose among the thorns. Being yourself is the greatest part of moving away from the crowd, or from the herd. You were once a sheep, just as everyone else, so why not change that? Why not step out of the crowd, and be different? Different is cool, the normal is weird, and you have to realize it in order to become greater than the haters.
Example: moving away from your hometown for work. You get a fresh start in a new city, and a new job: free of haters, free of judgment, and full of responsibility. You never had any of these previously, and it becomes overwhelming at first. How can you live without haters? You were used to having them around you at all times: misguided judges looking to pounce on your every move in order to make themselves look better. Who cares how much you make at this job? Who cares if you aren’t blowing your money every night by going out? On Monday morning, you get to work and can pat yourself on the back knowing you are contributing to something every weekday. You don’t have to worry about who will be at certain places during certain nights, or what people will be wearing that night, or if you’ll get in trouble by seeing someone you shouldn’t be seeing that night; you just worry about you getting to work, and what can you accomplish in any given day.
In the past, I would let this negativity get the best of me: allowing thoughts to rot away in my head all night. Who wants their sleep ruined by wasting time thinking about someone who said something to me (true or false), and why it bothered me? Why not just take me
out of that situation entirely? You don’t need that force in your life…you need to be around positivity.
Some quick morning thoughts from me…